My story so far..
PART 1. Before AYURVEDA
Buckle Up. It’s a long and winding road
Like so many people who work for themselves, my journey over the last 8 years has been full of ups and downs, periods of intense work and big stretches of nothing; misaligned partnerships and once in a lifetime opportunities too. If you want to build resilience, test your grit and ride some serious waves, then start a business, but if you prefer stability and familiarity - honestly - I would think twice. What I would say though, through it all, I don’t think I would change a thing and here’s why…
As you read this, you are here with me as Charlotte Grace Ayurveda, a full time Yoga + pilates teacher, retreat host and active sharer of Ayurveda-informed, holistic health practices to soothe, nurture and support overstimulated, stressed out folk who are looking to slow it down and tune back into themselves. But this wasn’t where I started out.
Early days back in OAT KITCHEN plant-based chef days- the first iteration of my business
My story as a wellbeing practitioner started back in 2017, I quit my job in the Arts and left London. I moved back to my hometown in Essex and started all over again as a plant-based caterer. Before this art was my life. I had studied Art History BA, Curating MA and spent literally years working in a culmination of different unpaid internships to end up working in an industry I felt no connection to whatsoever.
DAMN.
Working in the commercial art industry for me felt shallow and completely at odds with what I care about, which is integrity, purpose and authenticity. The only way I can describe how I felt during that time, is like that of a caged animal. Micromanaged, stifled, drowning, and, seriously underpaid might I add. I wanted work that gave me creative freedom, opportunities to travel and most importantly, some autonomy.
For 3.5 years I stuck at it, determined it would get better. I was ambitious, young and didn’t want to feel like my years of training had been wasted. I fought hard to work all hours, to be present, make an impression, to try and conform but it just felt so misaligned. Looking back now, I am pleased I gave it some time before leaving, but it was also the first instance where I ignored my intuition and took the hard route. I was holding down a daily internal scream and the only way to work through it was to exercise harder, push through, suppress my feelings, drink after work and buy lots of stuff on my lunch break to make me feel better. It came out in my body of course. Stomach issues, skin flare ups, serious irritability, periods of insomnia, not to mention the overwhelming doom I woke up with every morning.
Something had to give.
I went on my first ever yoga retreat with my Ma (I had been practicing for a few years by this point) and it was sitting around the dinner table with total strangers, sharing my experiences, my passions and my struggles that I really heard myself. I was bored of my own narrative. I had been stuck in this loop for years of trying, hating, pivoting, pushing on, ignoring, complaining, burn out, DOOM, repeat; and I simply needed out. I didn’t care that I had zero back up plan I just needed some time to figure it all out.
Back in 2016 on my first ever Yoga retreat in Goa
When I returned home I resigned. I also booked my first Yoga teacher training for that same year.I had to complete a 3 month handover period and what happened in that time was the formation of my first business OAT KITCHEN.
If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember these early days. Overnight oats pots, yoga brunches, cutesy cottage core photoshoots, nut roasts! OAT KITCHEN was initially a plant-based catering company offering anything from corporate events, weddings and festivals. I went in hard, taking every opportunity, every job even if it was unpaid. I wanted the experience and I was enjoying the opportunity to share my love of food, being hands-on creative and the new found freedom of working for myself.
So why food?
I spent a lot of my early years with my grandparents, and a lot of those beautiful times were spent with my nan in the kitchen baking or spent around the dinner table on a Sunday with all my family tucking into roast dinner and with at least 3 desserts to choose from like lemon meringue or a trusty crumble or trifle. Food was about love, connection and sharing. Those memories run deep and made a big impression on me. I cooked a lot for my family too growing up, making elaborate salads that looking back now, I bet cost a small fortune. I was always the one at university who left early from a night out, and my friends only accepting my french exit because they knew I’d always make them massive bowl of pasta to come home to.
When I moved in with my partner when I was still living in London, food stepped up a notch. It was a way of me showing him - a massive sugar addict and meat eater - how delicious, satisfying and interesting home-made, healthy vegetarian food could be. So when I was trying to figure out what my business would be, the first thing that came to mind, was cooking. It was the one thing that naturally underpinned all my other interests.
Having practiced Yoga on and off for years since university, my food very quickly aligned with yoga festivals, events and retreats. The marriage between my wholesome, sharing style, vege-centric food and the wellness industry just made sense. I spent a good few years prior to the dreaded lockdown - travelling the world as a retreat chef. Back then work was bountiful and travelling was way more accessible with cheaper flights and lower overheads. The hours were gruelling, the work load was intense and I was away from home a ton, but I was living a lifestyle I had never imagined was possible. It was wild, liberating, exciting and pushed me to evolve in so many ways.
However, with the fast paced, heavy-duty work load and the serious lack of boundaries, retreat cheffing took it’s toll. I fell into bad habits where I would skip proper meals and graze on bread, cheese and desserts. My hair started thinning, my moods dipped, my periods were horrific and I had no energy. I looked EXHAUSTED all of the time. I found it increasingly hard to work at the same pace and I started resenting the extra requests, the late nights or teachers turning up late to dinner. I never scheduled periods of rest after trips away, I was even working other jobs in-between. Now with hindsight I can see how depleted I was and how out of balance my Vata and Pitta were too.
Lockdown forced me to stop.
2020 was meant to be my busiest year of retreat bookings. I was excited but also quite daunted. How would I get through it all? I had also planned a 2 week Ayurveda immersion in India to deepen my knowledge on the subject that had piqued my interest on my YTTC a few years prior. With travel suspended work was cancelled for the foreseeable future.
What was I to do now?
As tough as this time was, it was also one of the most transformative. I had no work so instead, I cooked well for myself and my partner. I walked for hours a day. I started painting again. I practiced yoga every day. I laid on the floor pondering my life. I rested. I felt it all. Most importantly, this was the year I began learning Ayurveda. Instead of the immersion that was now impossible, I decided to sign up for a 1 year Ayurveda Diet + Lifestyle consultant diploma at the Ayurveda Institute UK. With no other distractions Ayurveda became my life. I studied ferociously. I was challenged, provoked, asked to question all my beliefs. I reflected on my life, my work, my struggles with a new understanding about myself, my constitution, and crucially, my imbalances.
When the world opened back up, armed with my new Ayurveda Diet + lifestyle qualification, I was summoned back into the retreat cheffing world. Being away again, I realised what I really craved was a base from which to evolve. I was tired of the unheaval of travelling and living out of a suitcase all the time….
That’s when I got the call that my Yoga Studio cafe was hiring for Head chef. This is where things really started to evolve.….
Keep your eyes out for the next instalment - things are about to get even more interesting.
