When self-care becomes a little bit sinister

Let’s be honest, wellness has a dark side.

Not the herbal teas or the grounding rituals. Not the early nights, morning walks or yoga nidra. Not the warm oils or the seasonal food.

I’m talking about the pressure to get it all right.

I’m talking about weaponising wellness, using your practices, routines and knowledge against yourself. I see it all the time in my clinic. Clients punishing themselves for dropping off, being inconsistent or for finding it hard. Or for controlling themselves and obsessing, becoming super rigid instead of softening and allowing life to happen too.

Some signs to look out for

Do you:

Feel guilty for skipping a practice or class, even when you're exhausted?
Keep pushing through a routine that clearly isn’t serving you just because it works for others?
Feel like you've ‘failed’ when you haven’t ticked everything off your self-care checklist?
Use Ayurveda, food rules, routines or rituals as a way to control your body or prove your worth?
Silently judge yourself for waking up a bit later, for scrolling, for drinking the wine or for eating chips instead of a healthy dinner?

Let’s Back up…

Wellness, like life, is a spectrum. You don’t need another rigid framework. You don’t need to “fix” yourself You don’t need to prove you’re spiritual, disciplined, clean, soft, perfect or anything else for that matter.

What you actually need is space to be human.

I advocate an 80:20 approach. Ayurveda encourages us to live a life of balance not extremes. As long as we are living consciously, mindfully, are being kind to ourselves and others, make sure to eat well, sleep and rest a lot, move frequently, laugh hard, oil your body, get outside in nature, have the night out, eat the cake, see your friends and drink the aperol spritz. It all counts.

Enjoy it all.

P.S.

This is the kind of honest, seasonal, real-life wisdom I share inside The Aligned Living Membership — a slow, Ayurvedic space for rhythm, rest, and realness.

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